I wake up and my first thought is always “I can’t do this anymore”. It’s crazy because I don’t even know when it all hit me. It is like watching a snow storm you see the tiny snowflakes fall from the sky but you don’t realise how they are building until suddenly you look out the window and your whole lawn is covered. This relates to my life. All the sudden it has hit me, complete shock. I’m sitting here blank with no emotions not knowing how I’m going to spend my day. I’m falling apart, and I can feel every little piece hitting the ground. My biggest fear is that soon there will be no more pieces. There will be no one to put the pieces back together because I push people away and one day nobody is going to bother coming back. I have completely detached myself from everything I am invisible I may as well no longer exist. Just because I am breathing, it doesn’t mean I’m alive. I am completely empty.
I hate myself for not noticing that day. For saying the wrong things. For not doing anything. For not stoping you. For not talking you out if it. I hate myself for being a dick all that week. Im sure im always going to hate the week of Valentines day…
I just have this thing about me where I just want everyone to be happy all the time. Even if I don’t like you, I really just ultimately want you to be happy and smile and feel so good about yourself.
Smiling is one of the best feelings, especially when it’s the hardest. I really just want everyone who’s sad to just smile and try with every fiber of your being to mean it. it’ll help. You just have to try.
Please just try.
(Source: jehluss)
so i’m going through this phase where i make stupid faces in pictures cause its fun.
I hate the scared feeling I get when I want to tell you I want to be with you. Your actions terriffy me because I’m so afraid of feeling that worthless again. I promised my self I would never let anyone make me feel that way again. Especially not YOU. I’m afraid thats all. I can’t seem to make myself trust you completely again.
every time a guy says hi to me or looks at me i assume that they are in love with me and want to be my boyfriend.
(Source: alibalixx)
idk why, but i have to do it.
(Source: xavierfuc)